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Bookmarked Blog
Hailing from Melbourne, comedian Simon Taylor has appeared on popular comedy show Just For Laughs and written for the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Shaun Micallef’s Mad as Hell on the ABC and Magic for Humans on Netflix. It was only natural for him to turn his pen to writing a debut novel!

 

Inspired by the true story of a comedian in crisis, One Night Stand recounts the experience of a fleeting sexual encounter and the hilarious mess it can create. 

Writing jokes for stage and screen is very different to writing them down to be read in silence. To find out how Simon altered his jokes when going 'from the stage to the page' he has put together a video explaining exactly that!
 


To get an idea of some of the unenviable situations our ficitional comedian Ben gets himself into, Simon has written 'Palliative Care' - an hilarious short story featuring his main character - to celebrate the publication of the book.  

 


Palliative Care by Simon Taylor

 

‘Alright, we have some stand-up comedy today, everyone,’ said the head nurse, Demetri. He wore a tiny red apron over his stout frame and had a few whiskers above his lip, begging to be called a moustache. He addressed what only the most generous would describe as an audience: eight greying humans, three of which were either asleep — or pretending to be.
 
When I said I’d take any gig, I didn’t think my agent would book me at the Ferntree Grove Aged Care Facility.
 
‘Now let’s give him a nice round of… Beryl, put your teeth down, luv. You won’t need them for this. Let’s welcome the comedian, what’s your name again?’
 
‘Ben Thomas,’ I said.
 
‘Ben the comedian!’ Demetri clapped his lumpy hands. The rest of the room attempted applause. They could have been banging dry sponges together. Beryl was still fidgeting with her false teeth so their chattering almost sounded like claps.
 
‘Um, are you going to turn the TV off?’ I asked Demetri. A flatscreen hung crooked on the beige wall behind where I was meant to perform.
 
‘Better not,’ said Demetri, ‘some of them don’t want to miss Millionaire Hot Seat.’
 
I wondered if there were any pain killers lying around I could nab.
 
I stepped in front of the overenthusiastic number of chairs. There was no stage, just a carpet that could have been stolen from an RSL. If its spirals didn’t make you dizzy, the smell of moth balls would.
 
‘Hello, how are we all?’ I asked.
 
‘My neck’s a bit sore today, actually.’ One of the residents twisted his head sideways a few centimetres. It was all he could manage. I was ready to twist mine clean off.
 
‘Oh. That’s no good. Um, okay let’s get into it. I know a lot of you are looking at me and are thinking, “Wow, he looks exotic!”. And it’s true. I’m originally from Canberra.’
 
A lady up the front coughed out her orange juice.
 
‘Are you okay?’ I asked her.
 
‘Martha,’ she said.
 
‘No, I asked if you’re okay,’ I said louder.
 
‘Yes, I’m Martha.’
 
‘Great. Well, Martha, I was watching the news the other day and schoolies has started again. I’m worried about all those adults who turn up and ruin it for everyone. You know, police officers.’
 
The only noise in the room was someone on Hot Seat locking in ‘D) Mary Poppins’.
 
Another woman, in a mustard knitted jumper, eased herself out of her chair and creaked over to me.
 
‘If you leave it there, dear, you can have the rest of my lunch.’ She squashed a plastic-wrapped egg sandwich into my palm.
 
Any comedian with a drop of dignity would do the time he was booked to do. I observed my crowd, half of which were now snoring.
 
I sat down and ate the egg sandwich, to the rapturous applause of Beryl's teeth.
 



One Night Stand by Simon Taylor is available in store and online now.
One-Night Stand
Simon Taylor
$24.99
  

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