There is no book currently available that is focused exclusively on women who have been
sexually assaulted by a partner. Because rape/sexual assault is still subject to public and
judicial stereotypes of "real" rape, i.e. strangers in alleyways, and because partner rape is
not perceived to be as serious and traumatic as other kinds of rape, survivors often have
difficulty finding information and getting support.
That has now changed.
Drawing on the experiences and voices of 30 survivors of partner rape from Australia, North
America Canada and the UK, it is a healing/resource book for survivors, supporters and
professionals in the fields of counselling and advocacy internationally.
Real Rape, Real Pain is a book may make you feel uncomfortable, in that it tackles the
violence and unpleasantness of rape within relationships; it forces us to confront the hidden
violence in our society. It challenges the silence and secrecy about partner rape. As the
authors say, "Violence is about using power and control, not about being out of control.
There is no excuse for partner violence ever."
The aims of the book are changing the rape culture and helping survivors. Chapters cover
identifying rape in relationships, women at risk, staying with a partner who has raped you,
sexuality after partner rape, a safety plan, and numerous other issues related to partner
rape.
As American author Monika Ostroff says, "Real Rape, Real Pain is the compassionate, loving
friend that reaches into the darkness to the sufferer of partner rape, offering hope and help
for a healthy life, free from violence. A wise teacher, this book will inform everyone from
professionals working in the field to family members of women being victimized to politicians
who are empowered to make the necessary changes to ensure safety on all our behalves.
This book is a beacon of light that illuminates a dark, misunderstood yet incredibly common
phenomenon of violence. It is a must-read for every survivor, family member, clinician, and
politician!"